A Day at the Zoo!
by The 3 ladies
Summary: The Gundam boys go to the zoo for the day. Wufei is going to have a hell of day. The boys will see a walrus do "something" amazing. Please R&R!--Lady Blink


A Day at the Zoo!  
  
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I wrote this when I was bored. As the title says, the Gundam boys are going to the zoo. I love the zoo. Lady Wrath will know the true conversation that takes place at the walrus tank. She went to the zoo with me. Enough talk. Roll the disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't Gundam Wing or the conversation that Lady Blink and Lady Wrath had at the walrus tank. Very nasty.  
  
Lady Blink: What?! The conversation isn't that bad. *Looks at readers. * It isn't.  
  
Disclaimer: Or the conversation at the end of fic.  
  
LB: Shut up! That's not bad either.  
  
Disclaimer: No. Just stupidity on your part. * Is smacked off the screen. *  
  
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*The G-boys are in Trowa's car going to the zoo. *  
  
Quatre & Duo: *bouncing up and down in their seats. * WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO! YAAAAAYYY!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YAYYYY!!!  
  
Wufei: Calm down!  
  
Quatre: Okay.  
  
Duo: Are we there yet?  
  
Trowa: No. Ten more minutes.  
  
Duo: Are we there now?  
  
Trowa: Don't start this Duo.  
  
Duo: Are we there now? Are we th--  
  
*Heero puts duck tape over Duo's mouth. *  
  
Wufei: Thank god.  
  
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*The G-boys are entering the zoo. *  
  
Duo: *rubbing his mouth. * Wufei you didn't have to rip that duck tape off so slow. Heero really got the tape stuck. That hurt when you ripped it off Wufei.  
  
Wufei: *Evil grin. * I know.  
  
*Heero and Wufei look very pleased with themselves. *  
  
Quatre: Okay. What place are we going to first?  
  
Duo: The otters! We have to see the otter first! Otters!  
  
Heero: Okay! Otters.  
  
* They walk over to the directory. *  
  
Trowa: Okay. They're past the Orcas whales.  
  
Quatre: Well that's not safe. Orca whales kill otters.  
  
(AN: I don't think that's true so forgive me is it isn't.)  
  
Wufei: Quatre, do you really think a Orcas whale is going to get out of it's tank and flop over to the otter's tank and eat them?  
  
Quatre: *Very red with embarrassment. * They could.  
  
Duo: Like the time you thought if you took a shower the shark from JAWS would bust through the middle of shower and eat you?  
  
*Snickers from the rest of the pilots has they remember Trowa and Duo trying to get Quatre into the shower. And screams from Quatre has he was pushed into the shower in his swimsuit. *  
  
Quatre: Okay. Let's just get to the otter tank.  
  
*20 minutes later. *  
  
Wufei: Where are damn otters?! Did they leave? Trowa! I told you to stop wasting 10 minutes looking at Puffins!  
  
Trowa: Shut up! You're just mad because that Puffin crapped on your shoe!  
  
Wufei: It was probably an onna too. They're always crapping on men shoes.  
  
Everyone around Wufei: o.0  
  
Wufei: F-off! There! *Points to a otter that's on it's back with it's baby on it's stomach. * There's the damn otter.  
  
Duo: It's so cute!  
  
Trowa: That's so awesome!  
  
Quatre: Look at the baby!  
  
Heero: That is pretty adorable.  
  
Wufei: Hmf!  
  
*5 minutes later. The G-Boys are indoors and are in front of the walrus tank. *  
  
(AN: Here we go. Have fun Lady Wrath.)  
  
Wufei: That walrus is huge!  
  
Duo: I bet he gets all the ladies during mating session.  
  
Quatre: I don't think it's a boy.  
  
Duo: Yes it is-- *Looks up at the walrus. It's has it's.um.. "Handy tool" out and is going to the bathroom.*  
  
Quatre: She's giving birth! That baby has a big head!  
  
Heero: *VERY red. * Quatre, that's not a baby's head.  
  
Wufei: *gigging really hard. * Baby's head! HA!  
  
Quatre: Yes it is! See all that dirty stuff coming out. Wait-why is the baby walrus going back in? Oh. *Red. Very red. *  
  
Trowa & Heero: -_-;;  
  
*Wufei and Duo are sitting against the tank laughing. *  
  
Duo: Take a breath.*Starts cracking up again. *  
  
Quatre: Okay. Let's go see the polar bears. *Looks like he's going to die of embarrassment. *  
  
Wufei: *laughing really hard. He's face turning purple. * May-be.the polar. bear will have. a. baby!!!  
  
*Duo, Trowa, and Wufei crack up all over again. *  
  
Quatre: It's an honest mistake!  
  
(AN: It is! It looked like a baby walrus's head and you know it Wrath!)  
  
*They walk over to the polar bears. The bear is swimming under the water. *  
  
Quatre: Its fur is so beautiful.  
  
Trowa: *giggling. * Yeah! It would make a great rug in front of my fireplace!  
  
Quatre: OH! That's a horrible thing to say Trowa!  
  
Duo: LET'S GO SEE THE ELEPHANTS!!!  
  
Heero: Hn. Okay.  
  
*They all the way over to the elephant area. *  
  
Wufei: We would have been here sooner if those damn onnas would move a little faster with the strollers!!  
  
Heero: We would have been here sooner if YOU hadn't stopped to buy an elephant ear from that cart!  
  
Wufei: *looks up with cinnamon all over his mouth. * Shut up.Their delicious!  
  
Duo: LOOK! That elephant is taking a dump!  
  
Wufei: AHHH!!! *Starts gagging. *  
  
Trowa: Looking at this is making me very hungry! Maybe chocolate ice cream would be nice?  
  
Heero: Melted Hershey bar?  
  
*Wufei is vomiting in the corner and Duo is taking pictures of the elephant. *  
  
Quatre: Duo! That's so nasty! What do you need photos of an elephant pooping for?  
  
Duo: Don't need, want. Plus, I'm going to post them places where Wu-man will find them. He-he. I hope we find some animals mating!  
  
Trowa: I don't think that'll make Wufei sick Duo.  
  
Duo: I know. They're for me. *Weird grin. *  
  
Trowa, Heero, & Quatre: o.0  
  
Wufei: Oh.*Pukes up breakfast. *  
  
Heero: *looking at puke. * It looks like Wufei ate Captain Crunch for breakfast.  
  
Trowa: *looks at the puke too. * It looks like Relena Peacecraft.  
  
Heero: All puke looks like Relena Bitchcraft.  
  
Duo: Looks like Al Gore.  
  
Quatre: IT DOES!!! WUFEI! YOUR PUKE LOOKS LIKE AL GORE!!!  
  
Heero: My god! It does!  
  
Wufei: Oh.help me.  
  
Duo: Come on Wufei! Don't be weak! Let's go look at the lions.  
  
*All the pilots leave to go see the lions. Wufei is dragging behind them. They also see the bears, wolf, birds, tigers, and monkeys. Wufei dragging behind and puking at each one. *  
  
Trowa: I swear to god that monkey was giving me the stink eye.  
  
Quatre: Sureeeeeeeeee Trowa. And that bear gave you the stink eye too didn't he?  
  
Trowa: He did! That crazy mother f- *Quatre throws his hand over Trowa's mouth. *  
  
Heero: Are you sure you're not the crazy mother fu-  
  
Quatre: Shhhhhhh! Not the f word!  
  
Duo: Let's go see the lamas!  
  
Heero: Hn. I had bad experiences with lamas as a child.  
  
*They walk over to the lama's cage. The lamas are leaning over the fence being fed by a bunch of little 5 and 6 year olds. *  
  
Duo: I always wanted a lama!  
  
Wufei: Lamas. I hate lamas. They're smelly and disgusting creatures. They are weak.  
  
* A lama that is standing in front of Wufei spits in his face. A big thing of spit too. It's running down Wufei's face. When he opens his mouth to say something it goes into his mouth. *  
  
(AN: I dare you to eat lunch now.)  
  
Wufei: EWWWWWW!!!! INJUSTICE!!!!  
  
*The other G-boys are laughing and gagging at the same time. *  
  
Some woman next to Wufei: You know, lamas spit when they're mad.  
  
Wufei: *Wiping spit off of his face. * I know that onna! I'm leaving! Screw this damn zoo.  
  
All the little kids around Wufei: Damn zoo! Damn zoo! Damn zoo! Damn zoo! Damn! Damn!  
  
Teachers: No! Don't say that!  
  
Quatre: *Very disappointed. * Oh, do we have to leave Wufei?  
  
Wufei: Yes! This trip has made my life a living hell!  
  
Heero & Trowa: That didn't make any sense.  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!  
  
Kids: Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell! Living hell!  
  
Duo: o.0 Oh. All right. Wufei is in a pissy mood so we have to leave the zoo.  
  
*They walk out the zoo. *  
  
Zoo person: *perky voice. * Thanks for coming! Hope you enjoyed your day and the animals! Come back soon!  
  
Wufei: *jumps at the zoo person. * YOU PERKY SON OF A BITCH!!  
  
Heero, Duo and Trowa: *pulling a crazed Wufei from his suffocating victim. * WUFEI NO!!!  
  
*They finally pull Wufei off the guy and talk the zoo guy out of pressing charges against Wufei. *  
  
Duo: *waking with the rest of pilots out to the car. * That sign says we're in "rab" section of the parking lot.  
  
Heero: *gigging. * Duo, that's crab. Not rab.  
  
(AN: Laugh it up Lady Wrath. Once again, a honest mistake.)  
  
Trowa: Yeah and the next section is "uck".  
  
Quatre: Trowa! Don't be nasty!  
  
Trowa: What? The next section is duck. What were you thinking? *Grin. *  
  
Quatre: Shut up! You know, this has been an embarrassing day for Wufei and me.  
  
Duo: You two were just being idiots.  
  
Quatre: OH! This is coming from Uo? Who thinks Crab is rab?  
  
Duo: F- off you little fruit-  
  
Quatre: Why you little!  
  
Heero: o.0  
  
Trowa: I'm going to get the car. *Runs off. *  
  
Wufei: Ten bucks on Winner.  
  
Heero: All right.  
  
*5 minutes later. *  
  
Trowa: Okay! Let's go! This zoo idea was a bad one.  
  
Quatre: *with a black eye. * All right.  
  
Duo: *has a bloody nose. * I'm tired.  
  
Heero: That was the worst fight. Worse than the fight in "Bridget Jones's Dairy".  
  
Wufei: That fight was funny though. This one was sad.  
  
*They all get in the car. *  
  
Quatre: Yeah, maybe next week we can go to that theme park near our house!  
  
Everyone else: NO!!!  
  
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Okay. That was it. Lame but I have to write something because high school starts Wednesday! YIKES! I'm not going to have time to write!! AHH!! Please R&R! He-he!! Have a nice day! n_n-Lady Blink 


End file.
